You Know You’re Over The Hill If…

over-the-hill-clipartYou know, it seems as we grow older, our own perception of being “over the hill” appears to increase as well. But, it never fails that younger members of your family and/or society tend to remind you about that “age” thingy from time to time (how thoughtful of them!). It’s been said many times that age is nothing more than a number. For the most part, that’s true, however, the amount of activity you do, how active you are, the things you’re involved with, the family around you, and your health all determine just how old you really feel.old-folks-with-cane

The list here is referenced from a few sources around the net. Some are probably repetitive. But you just gotta take some things with a grain of salt.

So ……. Here goes!

You know you’re over the hill if….

  • Your back goes out but you stay home
  • You and your teeth don’t sleep together
  • You try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you’re not wearing any
  • At the breakfast table you hear snap,crakle,pop and you’re not eating cereal
  • When you wake up looking like your drivers license picture
  • It takes two tries to get up from the couch
  • When you yell at your kids to “turn that darn music down”
  • When your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio
  • When happy hour is a nap
  • When you’re on vacation and your energy runs out before your money does
  • When you say something to your kids that your mother said to you and you always hated it
  • When all you want for your birthday is to not be reminded of your age
  • You go to step off a curb and look down one more time to make sure the street is still there
  • Your idea of weight lifting is standing up
  • It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired
  • Your memory is shorter and your complaining lasts longer
  • Your address book has mostly names that start with Dr.
  • You sit in a rocking chair and can’t get it going
  • The pharmacist has become your new best friend
  • Getting lucky means you found your car in the parking lot
  • The twinkle in your eye is only a reflection from the sun on your bifocals
  • The iron in your blood turns to lead in your pants
  • It takes twice as long to look half as good
  • If everything hurts and what doesn’t hurt doesn’t work
  • If your house catches fire and the first thing you grab is your metamucil
  • You look for your glasses for half an hour and they were on your head the whole time
  • You get two invitations to go out on the same night and you pick the one that gets you home the earliest
  • You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there
  • You give up all your bad habits and still don’t feel good
  • You get to the check out line,see how long it is,and decide what you have in your buggy isn’t worth the wait
  • You have more patience,but actually it’s just that you don’t care anymore
  • Rocking in a rocking chair feels like a roller coaster ride
  • You confuse having a ‘clear conscience’ with a bad memory
  • You finally ‘get your head together’ and your body starts falling apart
  • You turn off the lights for economic reasons instead of romantic reasons
  • You wonder how you could be over the hill when you don’t even remember being on top of it
  • Getting a little action means your prune juice kicked in
  • You have too much room in your house and not enough room in your medicine chest
  • You wonder why everyone has started mumbling
  • You don’t care where your spouse goes as long as you don’t have to go along
  • Caution is the only thing you excercise
  • You wake up with that morning after feeling and you didn’t go anywhere the night before
  • You’re not worried about losing your looks, only your glasses
  • You find yourself beginning to like accordion music.
  • You’re sitting on a park bench and a Boy Scout comes up and helps you cross your legs.
  • Lawn care has become a big highlight of your life.
  • You tune into the easy listening station… on purpose.
  • You discover that your measurements are now small, medium and large. In that order.
  • You light the candles on your birthday cake and a group of campers form a circle and start singing Kumbaya.
  • Someone compliments you on your layered look… and you’re wearing a bikini.
  • You keep repeating yourself.
  • You start video taping daytime game shows.
  • At the airport, they ask to check your bags… and you’re not carrying any luggage.
  • You wonder why you waited so long to take up macramé.
  • Your Insurance Company has started sending you their free calendar… A month at a time.
  • At cafeterias, you complain that the gelatin is too tough.
  • Your new easy chair has more options than your car.
  • When you do the “Hokey Pokey” you put your left hip out… and it stays out.
  • One of the throw pillows on your bed is a hot water bottle.
  • Conversations with people your own age often turn into “dueling ailments”.
  • You keep repeating yourself.
  • It takes a couple of tries to get over a speed bump.
  • You discover the words, “whippersnapper”, “scalawag” and “by-cracky” creeping into your vocabulary.
  • You’re on a TV game show and you decide to risk it all and go for the rocker.
  • You begin every other sentence with, “Nowadays…”
  • You run out of breath walking DOWN a flight of stairs.
  • You look both ways before crossing a room.
  • Your social security number only has three digits.
  • You keep repeating yourself.
  • You come to the conclusion that your worst enemy is gravity.
  • You go to a Garden Party and you’re mainly interested in the garden.
  • You find your mouth making promises your body can’t keep.
  • The waiter asks how you’d like your steak…and you say “pureed”.
  • You start beating everyone else at trivia games.
  • You frequently find yourself telling people what a loaf of bread used to cost.
  • Your back goes out more than you do.
  • You keep repeating yourself.
  • Cafeteria food starts tasting GOOD.
  • You refer to your $2500 stereo system as “The Hi-Fi.”
  • You make it a point to attend all the RV shows that come to town.
  • You realize that a stamp today costs more than a picture show did when you were growing up.
  • Your childhood toys are now in a museum.
  • Many of your co- workers were born the same year that you got your last promotion.
  • The clothes you’ve put away until they come back in style… come back in style.
  • All of your favorite movies are now revised in color.
  • The car that you bought brand new becomes an antique.
  • You keep repeating yourself.
  • You find this list tasteless and insensitive.

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Another similar recent post you may enjoy:

You Can Tell You’re Getting Old When…

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You Can Tell You’re Getting Old When…

dog-mailman-outranYou say you’re feeling your age lately? Well then, I’m sure the following “reminders” will help put things a little more in perspective for you, whether you’re turning 30, 40, 50 or older. I’m sure you could probably add a few more to this list from your own vast personal experiences.

Just remember….. You’re only as old as you feel. 🙂

See how many of these you can relate to.

You can tell you’re getting old when……….

  • You hear someone talk about a Magic Jack and think they’re talking about a childhood game.
  • You need to explain to your teenagers that your collection of “45’s’ is not about a collection of beer cans or handguns.
  • You tell your kids or grand kids about about your favorite childhood toy back then, your “Erector Set” and they get get the idea that you’re talking about something dirty.
  • You’ve recently horrified yourself by using any one of the following phrases: – “When I was younger” – “When I was your age” – “You know, back when…” – “Because I SAID so, that’s why” – “What the HELL is that noise on the radio?”, “Turn that crap down/off!”
  • The movie “2001: A Space Odyssey” was eons into the future.
  • Partying “like it’s 1999” seemed so far away.
  • You remember how to use a rotary phone.
  • You actually remember staying up late enough to watch a channel “go off the air” right after the playing of The Star Spangled Banner and the seeing the screen turn into a “target pattern” with a weird high pitch sound.
  • Schoolhouse Rock played a HUGE part in how you actually learned the English language, learned about the constitution of the United States and solved math equations.
  • You remember when music that was labeled “alternative” really was.
  • You remember when Atari, Betamax and Commodore were considered “cutting edge” of technology.
  • You couldn’t wait to get home from school to see if your unbelievable “Sea Monkeys” kit had come in the mail yet today.
  • You remember when your Amana Radar Range was the revolutionary “cutting edge” appliance.
  • You remember when McDonald’s served their burgers in styrofoam boxes.
  • Atari 2600, IntelliVision and ColecoVision were the ultimate gaming systems to own.
  • You’ve ever uttered the words, “Radical!”, “Bitchin!”, “Far Out” or “Right On!”.
  • You thought that rolling a pack of cigarettes up your t-shirt sleeve meant that you were hip.
  • You actually remember when there were only three channels to choose from.
  • Your first musical purchase was an 8-track tape.
  • You have ever called 867-5309.
  • You still own a pair of  parachute pants, platform shoes or leg warmer.
  • You were in Boy Scouts, Cub Scouts, Girl Scouts or Brownies and now you have no idea what all the badges and patches you’d earned were for.
  • You held the top score on Pac-Man or Space Invaders.
  • Your hair defied gravity.
  • Your first Walkman weighed about as much as a brick.
  • You remember when cellular phones weighed 15 lbs. and had to be carried in a specially-made suitcase with straps over your shoulder.
  • You remember the days when “safe sex” meant “my parents are gone for the weekend”.
  • You had thoughts of wanting to be on TV’s “Star Search”.
  • You carried you lunch to school in a Gremlins or an ET lunchbox.
  • You were led to believe that by the year 2000 we’d all be living hovering around in “flying modules” like we saw on “The Jetson’s”.
  • Your first computer was either an Adam, Commodore 64 or an Atari 800.
  • You thought that “four-square” was the ultimate playground game and you ruled at it .
  • Your dream car was a tough choice between “The Batmobile”,  “KITT” or “The General Lee”.
  • “Dingbat”, “meathead” and “stifle” are still part of your vocabulary.
  • You still occasionally utter the phrase, “I pity the fool”.
  • You remember the hand gestures for “Nanu Nanu” and “Live long and prosper”.
  • You remember that a guy having his ear pierced  meant either he was “rad cool” or “gay” but can’t remember which ear meant what.
  • You’re starting to view “getting carded” to buy alcohol as a complement or a GOOD thing, and not getting pissed off anymore about not looking old enough.
  • You thought that smoking cigarettes meant you were cool like you saw on television commercials or the movies.
  • You spend a majority of your time in your late 20’s or 30’s obsessing over how much better things were “back then”.
  • You remember when “loafers” were cool and you wore them with everything.
  • You know who “Max Headroom”, “Spuds McKenzie” and “The Noid” are.
  • You can remember the time when “going out for coffee” did NOT involve 9999 selections to choose from.
  • You remember “Friday Night Videos” before the days of MTV.
  • You remember when “Pong” was the “state-of-the-art” or “cutting edge” video game that you couldn’t get enough of.
  • You still occasionally suffer “flashbacks” from your 21st birthday party.
  • You’re starting to believe that maybe 30 isn’t so old after all, but in reality it’s those people over 40 you have to look out for.
  • You had to resort to an actual dictionary or encyclopedia to research information or look up stuff.
  • You remember that it was time to come into the house when the street lights came on.
  • You wore a feather roach clip in your hair from the local fair or carnival because you didn’t know what it was actually for.
  • You still wonder if Mikey died from a lethal cocktail of Pop Rocks and Coca Cola.
  • If you still remember the words to “The Name Game”, “The Night Chicago Died”, “I Will Survive” or “Jessie’s Girl”
  • You remember when your cable TV box had a sliding selector switch and your “cable or VCR remote” was connected to the TV by an actual CORD!
  • You actually remember Mr. Bill, Mrs. Beasley, Lambchop or Howdy Doody.
  • You took family trips BEFORE the invention of the mini-van and remember riding in the back of the station wagon trying to get passing trucks to honk at you.
  • You remember the days when wearing seatbelts in cars and wearing helmets while bike riding weren’t even an issue.
  • You remember the days when you and your friends use to ride your bike over to the local “Speedy Mart” for actual “penny candy” and a “slurpie” in a collectors cup.
  • You learned to swim at about the same time “Jaws” came out… and still carry the emotional scars to prove it.
  • If  you’re a guy, your first love was Ellie May, Jeanie, Marcia Brady, Laurie Partridge, Daisy Duke, Samantha Micelli (Alyssa Milano) or Samantha from Bewitched.
  • If you’re a girl, your first heart throb was Mickey Dolenz, David Cassidy, Shaun Cassidy, Donny Osmond, Rick Springfield, Leif Garrett, Chachi, Paunch or secretly lusted after “Ted, your ship’s photographer” from the Love Boat.
  • You remember having to get off the couch or out of the “beanbag chair” to change the channel on TV.
  • You were not allowed to see “Psycho”, “Valley of The Dolls”, “Midnight Cowboy”, “The Exorcist”, “The Omen”, or “The Blue Lagoon” when they came out.
  • Most of the fillings in your mouth are directly related to Bazooka, Chicklets, Double Bubble or Bubble Yum.
  • You’re currently employed doing something that has absolutely nothing to do with your college major.
  • You can’t remember a time when “hitting the outlet stores” didn’t mean going to an electrical warehouse.

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Another similar post you may enjoy:

You Know You’re Over The Hill If…