Just For Laughs: Feature Page

Laugh a little each day …..

laughing_monkeySometimes we all need a little break from our day to day routine. A good way to help relieve some stress is to take time to mellow out, relax and enjoy some lighthearted laughs or humorous stories. And there’s so much to chose from too! There’s so much going on in this crazy world  in which we live and  sometimes, you just have to stand back and observe what others are doing … or not doing. Some of the posts here are simply observations of stuff we see, read and hear. Of course, not everyone can be as practical, grounded or intelligent as you or I. Fortunately, this provides us with lots of amusing situations and things that make you laugh or wonder what the hell someone was thinking before or while doing something crazy or insane. Sometimes you laugh at the person but more often at what that person says or does. Check some of these posts out for yourself and you’ll see what I mean. Well, that’s what this section provides for you. I’ve also included some favorite stories I’ve come across just to give a little more variety.

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Please Note: All of the links below on this page are located within this website

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AMUSING OBSERVATIONS:

Amusing Oxymorons  laughter-yellow-ball

Fake Ad Contest Highlights

“Having Guts” vs “Having Balls”: Do You Know The Difference?

How To Use Math Logic To Succeed

Humorous Headlines In The News

Humorous Observations of Real Life Experiences

Questionable Thought Process

Saga of The 7 Dwarves In The 21st Century

Strange, Funny & Stupid Laws That Make You Wonder Why: State By State

Strange & Obscure Words To Expand Your Vocabulary With

Worst Corporate Slogan Translations Ever Made

You Can Tell You’re Getting Old When…

You Know You’re Over The Hill If…

You’ll Know The Current Recession Is Over When…

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INCREDIBLE HOAXES:

April Fool’s Day Fun & Traditions

Can You Pass A Gullibility Test?

Incredible Hoax Websites For The Gullibly Challenged

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VALUABLE LESSONS:  valuable-lessons-greenboard-e1269978316952

25 Priceless Lessons On Life Learned From Mom

Lessons Learned Living By The Rules of Life

Murphy’s Law – With Some New Insight

 

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ENTERTAINING IMAGES:

Amusing Animal Antics Picture Gallery

Funny of the Day

Images That Say A Lot

Remote Control Fantasy

The Wheels of Life

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STUPID FILES: stupid-files

Annoying Expressions & Stupid Sayings

Idiot Awards – Here’s Your Sign!

Strange, Funny & Stupid Laws That Make You Wonder Why: State By State

Stupid Criminals Across America

Stupid Questions or Stupid People?

Stupid Warning Labels

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UNUSUAL SIGNS: unusual-signs-collage

Amusing Signs That Make You Wonder

Creative Funny & Unusual Signs

Look! More Amusing Funny & Stupid Signs

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FUNNY STORIES: boy-laughing

A Funny Story About Teaching Your Kids Morals

Deer Hunter’s Log: A Day In The Life Of A Deer Hunter

Knowledge

Medical Problem

Proud Dads’ Discovery At Golf

Purina Diet

Sarcastic Burglar

Stuttering Cat

The Cuckoo Clock

Weight Loss Plan

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RANDOM THOUGHTS:

10 More Ideas or Thoughts To Ponder Over

12 Not-So-Deep Thoughts

How To Use Math Logic To Succeed

Is Life Really Measured By Numbers?

Questionable Thought Process

Random Thoughts To Make You Think

Thought For The Day #1

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SOUND F/X:sound_fx_machine

Fun Sound Effects … In An Instant

 

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Humorous Observations of Real Life Experiences

Just when you thought you’ve heard it all, someone comes up with more random thoughts. Here are a few more humorous observations of real life experiences. I’m sure some of these will hit home with you. Enjoy! 🙂

  • Life is just a phase you’re going through…you’ll get over it.
  • It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
  • For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
  • Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
  • Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
  • A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
  • Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
  • Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
  • Junk is something you throw away three weeks before you need it.
  • There is always one more idiot than you counted on.
  • Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
  • Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a   mechanic.
  • Experience is a wonderful thing… It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
  • By the time you can make ends meet, someone moves the ends.
  • Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
  • Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.
  • I believe the only time the world beats a path to my door is when I’m in the bathroom.
  • Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.
  • I don’t repeat gossip….. so listen carefully.
  • Lord, if I can’t be skinny, let all my friends be fat.
  • Discover Wildlife!  — Have Kids!
  • “Genuine Antique Person” — Been there, done that, can’t remember!
  • By the time you find greener pastures, you can’t climb the fence!
  • Never buy anything you can’t sell at a garage sale
  • I quit jogging for health reasons. My thighs rubbed together so much it caught my underwear on fire!

Purina Diet

purina_dog_chowHow many times when someone has asked you a stupid question have you wanted to come back with a story like this? …..

sit back and hold on for the ride

I happen to have four dogs at home and was in the checkout line at Wal-mart with a large bag of Purina in my shopping cart. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her no, that I was starting the “Purina Diet” again, although I probably shouldn’t because I had ended up in the hospital last time – however – I had lost 50 pounds before I had awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two of them every time you feel hungry. I also said the food is nutritionally complete so I thought I would give it another try again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I had ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned. I replied no, it was because I’d been sitting in the street licking my ass and a car hit me!

I honestly thought that one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door.

Stupid woman! …..Why else would I buy dog food?

Weight Loss Plan

running_shoesA man calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program.

The next day, there’s a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck.

She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, “If you can catch me, you can have me.”

Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later huffing and puffing, he finally gives up.

The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens.

On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs. as promised.

He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program.

The next day there’s a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning and beautiful woman he has ever seen in his life. She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, “If you catch me you can have me”.

Well, he’s out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck.

So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape.

Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 20 lbs. as promised.

He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program.

Are you sure?” asks the representative on the phone. “This is our most rigorous program.”

“Absolutely,” he replies, “I haven’t felt this good in years”.

The next day there’s a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, “If I catch you, you are mine!” …..

He lost 63 pounds that week!! 🙂

A Funny Story About Teaching Your Kids Morals

5th_grade_ school_blackboardAn elementary school teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment – To get his or her mom or dad to tell them a story from an actual life experience that teaches a moral at the end of it.

The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.

Ashley said, “My father’s a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying hens. One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the car when we hit a big bump in the road and all the eggs got broken.

“What’s the moral of that story?” asked the teacher.

“Don’t put all your eggs in one basket!”, replied Ashley. “Very good,” said the teacher.

Next, little Sarah raised her hand and said, “Our family are Farmers too. But we raise chickens for the meat market. One day we had a dozen eggs, but when they hatched we only got ten live chicks, and the moral to this story is, ‘Don’t count your chickens before they’re hatched’.”

“That was a fine story Sarah.” said the teacher. “Michael, do you have a story to share?”

“Yes. My daddy told me this story about his sister, my Aunty Sharon. It seams that Aunty Sharon was a flight engineer on a plane in the Gulf War and her plane got hit.

She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a bottle of whiskey, a machine gun and a machete. She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn’t break and then she landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops. She killed seventy of them with the machine gun until she ran out of bullets. Then she killed twenty more with the machete until the blade broke. And then she killed the last ten with her bare hands.”

“Good heavens,” said the horrified teacher, “What kind of moral did your daddy tell you from that horrible story?”

“Stay the hell away from Aunty Sharon when she’s been drinking.”