Just For Laughs: Feature Page

Laugh a little each day …..

laughing_monkeySometimes we all need a little break from our day to day routine. A good way to help relieve some stress is to take time to mellow out, relax and enjoy some lighthearted laughs or humorous stories. And there’s so much to chose from too! There’s so much going on in this crazy world  in which we live and  sometimes, you just have to stand back and observe what others are doing … or not doing. Some of the posts here are simply observations of stuff we see, read and hear. Of course, not everyone can be as practical, grounded or intelligent as you or I. Fortunately, this provides us with lots of amusing situations and things that make you laugh or wonder what the hell someone was thinking before or while doing something crazy or insane. Sometimes you laugh at the person but more often at what that person says or does. Check some of these posts out for yourself and you’ll see what I mean. Well, that’s what this section provides for you. I’ve also included some favorite stories I’ve come across just to give a little more variety.

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Please Note: All of the links below on this page are located within this website

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AMUSING OBSERVATIONS:

Amusing Oxymorons  laughter-yellow-ball

Fake Ad Contest Highlights

“Having Guts” vs “Having Balls”: Do You Know The Difference?

How To Use Math Logic To Succeed

Humorous Headlines In The News

Humorous Observations of Real Life Experiences

Questionable Thought Process

Saga of The 7 Dwarves In The 21st Century

Strange, Funny & Stupid Laws That Make You Wonder Why: State By State

Strange & Obscure Words To Expand Your Vocabulary With

Worst Corporate Slogan Translations Ever Made

You Can Tell You’re Getting Old When…

You Know You’re Over The Hill If…

You’ll Know The Current Recession Is Over When…

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INCREDIBLE HOAXES:

April Fool’s Day Fun & Traditions

Can You Pass A Gullibility Test?

Incredible Hoax Websites For The Gullibly Challenged

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VALUABLE LESSONS:  valuable-lessons-greenboard-e1269978316952

25 Priceless Lessons On Life Learned From Mom

Lessons Learned Living By The Rules of Life

Murphy’s Law – With Some New Insight

 

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ENTERTAINING IMAGES:

Amusing Animal Antics Picture Gallery

Funny of the Day

Images That Say A Lot

Remote Control Fantasy

The Wheels of Life

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STUPID FILES: stupid-files

Annoying Expressions & Stupid Sayings

Idiot Awards – Here’s Your Sign!

Strange, Funny & Stupid Laws That Make You Wonder Why: State By State

Stupid Criminals Across America

Stupid Questions or Stupid People?

Stupid Warning Labels

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UNUSUAL SIGNS: unusual-signs-collage

Amusing Signs That Make You Wonder

Creative Funny & Unusual Signs

Look! More Amusing Funny & Stupid Signs

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FUNNY STORIES: boy-laughing

A Funny Story About Teaching Your Kids Morals

Deer Hunter’s Log: A Day In The Life Of A Deer Hunter

Knowledge

Medical Problem

Proud Dads’ Discovery At Golf

Purina Diet

Sarcastic Burglar

Stuttering Cat

The Cuckoo Clock

Weight Loss Plan

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RANDOM THOUGHTS:

10 More Ideas or Thoughts To Ponder Over

12 Not-So-Deep Thoughts

How To Use Math Logic To Succeed

Is Life Really Measured By Numbers?

Questionable Thought Process

Random Thoughts To Make You Think

Thought For The Day #1

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SOUND F/X:sound_fx_machine

Fun Sound Effects … In An Instant

 

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Is Life Really Measured By Numbers?

Here are a few ironic thoughts about aging and growing older – Ask yourself this…..

Is life really measured by numbers or by milestones we reach?

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we are kids?

If you’re less than 10 years old, you’re so excited about aging that you think in fractions.

‘How old are you?’ … I’m four and a half!’ – You’re never thirty-six and a half – You’re four and a half, going on five! That’s the key.

You get into your teens and now nothing can hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even jump a few numbers ahead.

‘How old are you?’ … I’m gonna be 16!’. You could be 13 – but hey – You’re gonna be 16!

And then the greatest day of your life  comes — You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony — YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!

But then you turn 30 – Oooohh!! – What happened there? Makes you sound like sour milk! He TURNED 30 … we had to throw him out! Now it’s no fun – you’re just a sour-apple – What’s wrong? What’s changed?

You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you’re PUSHING 40 – Whoa! –  Put on the brakes, it’s all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50.

And your dreams are gone.

But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn’t think you would.

So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.

You’ve built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it’s a day-by-day thing… you HIT Wednesday.

You get into your 80’s and every day is a complete cycle… you HIT lunch… you TURN 4:30… you REACH bedtime – And it doesn’t end there.

Into the 90’s, you start going backwards… ‘I Was JUST 92.’

Then a strange thing happens..

If you make it to 100… you become a little kid again…. ‘ I’m 100 and a half!’

May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!

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HOW TO STAY YOUNG
1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay “them”.

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. “An idle mind is the devil’s workshop” And the devil’s name is Alzheimer’s.

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it’s family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, and hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don’t take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

And here’s something you should ALWAYS REMEMBER …..

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

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george_carlinThis is posted here as a tribute to my favorite comic of all-time, the incredibly perceptive, talented and great comedian, the late George Carlin. RIP George

Purina Diet

purina_dog_chowHow many times when someone has asked you a stupid question have you wanted to come back with a story like this? …..

sit back and hold on for the ride

I happen to have four dogs at home and was in the checkout line at Wal-mart with a large bag of Purina in my shopping cart. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her no, that I was starting the “Purina Diet” again, although I probably shouldn’t because I had ended up in the hospital last time – however – I had lost 50 pounds before I had awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two of them every time you feel hungry. I also said the food is nutritionally complete so I thought I would give it another try again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I had ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned. I replied no, it was because I’d been sitting in the street licking my ass and a car hit me!

I honestly thought that one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door.

Stupid woman! …..Why else would I buy dog food?

Weight Loss Plan

running_shoesA man calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program.

The next day, there’s a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck.

She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, “If you can catch me, you can have me.”

Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later huffing and puffing, he finally gives up.

The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens.

On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs. as promised.

He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program.

The next day there’s a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning and beautiful woman he has ever seen in his life. She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, “If you catch me you can have me”.

Well, he’s out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck.

So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape.

Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 20 lbs. as promised.

He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program.

Are you sure?” asks the representative on the phone. “This is our most rigorous program.”

“Absolutely,” he replies, “I haven’t felt this good in years”.

The next day there’s a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, “If I catch you, you are mine!” …..

He lost 63 pounds that week!! 🙂