Purina Diet

How many times when someone has asked you a stupid question have you wanted to come back with a story like this? …..

sit back and hold on for the ride

I happen to have four dogs at home and was in the checkout line at Wal-mart with a large bag of Purina in my shopping cart. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her no, that I was starting the “Purina Diet” again, although I probably shouldn’t because I had ended up in the hospital last time – however – I had lost 50 pounds before I had awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two of them every time you feel hungry. I also said the food is nutritionally complete so I thought I would give it another try again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I had ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned. I replied no, it was because I’d been sitting in the street licking my ass and a car hit me!

I honestly thought that one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door.

Stupid woman! …..Why else would I buy dog food?