You Know You’re Over The Hill If…

over-the-hill-clipartYou know, it seems as we grow older, our own perception of being “over the hill” appears to increase as well. But, it never fails that younger members of your family and/or society tend to remind you about that “age” thingy from time to time (how thoughtful of them!). It’s been said many times that age is nothing more than a number. For the most part, that’s true, however, the amount of activity you do, how active you are, the things you’re involved with, the family around you, and your health all determine just how old you really feel.old-folks-with-cane

The list here is referenced from a few sources around the net. Some are probably repetitive. But you just gotta take some things with a grain of salt.

So ……. Here goes!

You know you’re over the hill if….

  • Your back goes out but you stay home
  • You and your teeth don’t sleep together
  • You try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you’re not wearing any
  • At the breakfast table you hear snap,crakle,pop and you’re not eating cereal
  • When you wake up looking like your drivers license picture
  • It takes two tries to get up from the couch
  • When you yell at your kids to “turn that darn music down”
  • When your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio
  • When happy hour is a nap
  • When you’re on vacation and your energy runs out before your money does
  • When you say something to your kids that your mother said to you and you always hated it
  • When all you want for your birthday is to not be reminded of your age
  • You go to step off a curb and look down one more time to make sure the street is still there
  • Your idea of weight lifting is standing up
  • It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired
  • Your memory is shorter and your complaining lasts longer
  • Your address book has mostly names that start with Dr.
  • You sit in a rocking chair and can’t get it going
  • The pharmacist has become your new best friend
  • Getting lucky means you found your car in the parking lot
  • The twinkle in your eye is only a reflection from the sun on your bifocals
  • The iron in your blood turns to lead in your pants
  • It takes twice as long to look half as good
  • If everything hurts and what doesn’t hurt doesn’t work
  • If your house catches fire and the first thing you grab is your metamucil
  • You look for your glasses for half an hour and they were on your head the whole time
  • You get two invitations to go out on the same night and you pick the one that gets you home the earliest
  • You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there
  • You give up all your bad habits and still don’t feel good
  • You get to the check out line,see how long it is,and decide what you have in your buggy isn’t worth the wait
  • You have more patience,but actually it’s just that you don’t care anymore
  • Rocking in a rocking chair feels like a roller coaster ride
  • You confuse having a ‘clear conscience’ with a bad memory
  • You finally ‘get your head together’ and your body starts falling apart
  • You turn off the lights for economic reasons instead of romantic reasons
  • You wonder how you could be over the hill when you don’t even remember being on top of it
  • Getting a little action means your prune juice kicked in
  • You have too much room in your house and not enough room in your medicine chest
  • You wonder why everyone has started mumbling
  • You don’t care where your spouse goes as long as you don’t have to go along
  • Caution is the only thing you excercise
  • You wake up with that morning after feeling and you didn’t go anywhere the night before
  • You’re not worried about losing your looks, only your glasses
  • You find yourself beginning to like accordion music.
  • You’re sitting on a park bench and a Boy Scout comes up and helps you cross your legs.
  • Lawn care has become a big highlight of your life.
  • You tune into the easy listening station… on purpose.
  • You discover that your measurements are now small, medium and large. In that order.
  • You light the candles on your birthday cake and a group of campers form a circle and start singing Kumbaya.
  • Someone compliments you on your layered look… and you’re wearing a bikini.
  • You keep repeating yourself.
  • You start video taping daytime game shows.
  • At the airport, they ask to check your bags… and you’re not carrying any luggage.
  • You wonder why you waited so long to take up macramé.
  • Your Insurance Company has started sending you their free calendar… A month at a time.
  • At cafeterias, you complain that the gelatin is too tough.
  • Your new easy chair has more options than your car.
  • When you do the “Hokey Pokey” you put your left hip out… and it stays out.
  • One of the throw pillows on your bed is a hot water bottle.
  • Conversations with people your own age often turn into “dueling ailments”.
  • You keep repeating yourself.
  • It takes a couple of tries to get over a speed bump.
  • You discover the words, “whippersnapper”, “scalawag” and “by-cracky” creeping into your vocabulary.
  • You’re on a TV game show and you decide to risk it all and go for the rocker.
  • You begin every other sentence with, “Nowadays…”
  • You run out of breath walking DOWN a flight of stairs.
  • You look both ways before crossing a room.
  • Your social security number only has three digits.
  • You keep repeating yourself.
  • You come to the conclusion that your worst enemy is gravity.
  • You go to a Garden Party and you’re mainly interested in the garden.
  • You find your mouth making promises your body can’t keep.
  • The waiter asks how you’d like your steak…and you say “pureed”.
  • You start beating everyone else at trivia games.
  • You frequently find yourself telling people what a loaf of bread used to cost.
  • Your back goes out more than you do.
  • You keep repeating yourself.
  • Cafeteria food starts tasting GOOD.
  • You refer to your $2500 stereo system as “The Hi-Fi.”
  • You make it a point to attend all the RV shows that come to town.
  • You realize that a stamp today costs more than a picture show did when you were growing up.
  • Your childhood toys are now in a museum.
  • Many of your co- workers were born the same year that you got your last promotion.
  • The clothes you’ve put away until they come back in style… come back in style.
  • All of your favorite movies are now revised in color.
  • The car that you bought brand new becomes an antique.
  • You keep repeating yourself.
  • You find this list tasteless and insensitive.

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Another similar recent post you may enjoy:

You Can Tell You’re Getting Old When…

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Songs About Football – American Style

american-football-helmetWith the seasonal change just about a month away (at least by calendar standards), high school and collegiate football is now underway and the NFL preseason has just kicked into high gear. That means that the actual NFL Football season is just around the corner. And that usually conjures up images of BBQ’s, ice cold beer, tailgate parties, football pools, and Monday Night Football. To assist in your party plans, here are a few songs to check out, download to your ipod or burn to disc to enjoy pre-game, post game or on the way to the game (or pub). A number of these maybe tough to find as they were regional songs during playoff runs of a few of the teams listed below. These are strictly (American) football songs and not the crowd pump-up songs that are played during pregames, timeouts and halftimes.

super-bowl-shuffle-45

Songs About Football – American Style

  1. All My Rowdy Friends Are Here On Monday Night (ABC Monday Night Football Theme)are-you-ready-for-some-football-Hank-JrHank Williams Jr.
  2. Are You Ready For Some Football – Hank Williams Jr.
  3. The Art of America Football – Funeral For A Friend
  4. Blind Man In The Bleachers – Kenny Starr
  5. Drop Kick Me Jesus (Through The Goal Posts of Life) – Bobby Bare
  6. Fear Da Tiger – Cincinnati Bengals (2005)
  7. F.O.O.T.B.A.L.L. – T-Spoon
  8. Football Card – Glenn Sutton
  9. Football Fight – Queen
  10. Football Tonite – Rugburnsgame-plan-to-beat-miami-45-label
  11. The Game Plan To Beat Miami (The Twelve Days of Christmas) – Monday Morning Quarterback With The Grossmont High School Pep Band (1972)
  12. High School Football Hero – AFI
  13. Last Game of The Season (Blind Man In The Bleachers) – David Geddes
  14. Let’s Ram In – Los Angeles Rams (1986)
  15. Mud Football – Jack Johnson
  16. San Dimas High School Football Rules – The Ataris
  17. The Silver & Black Attack – Los Angeles Raiders (1986)49ers-song
  18. Superbowl Shuffle – Chicago Bears Shufflin’ Crew (1985)
  19. Uh Oh, The Jaguars Super Bowl Song – Jacksonville Jaguars (1999)
  20. Walk Like A Giant – New York Giants (released after winning Super Bowl XXI)
  21. We Are The 49ers – San Francisco 49ers (1984)

Any other songs that I may have missed?

Let me know and I’ll post them here soon.

 

UPDATE:  June/2013

Geez, I completely forgot an age-old “Big Band” radio classic from the 1930’s. I vividly remember this being performed as song-and-dance routines on various TV variety shows in the 60’s & 70’s such as Bob Hope specials, Texaco Star Theater and Carol Burnett.

“You Gotta Be a Football Hero” is a song written in 1933 by by Al Sherman, Buddy Fields & Al Lewis – Probably one of the most widely recorded and performed American football anthems of all time. Also used at one time by colleges & universities such as Notre Dame as crowd motivators.

Fred Waring & His Pennsylvanians, Ben Bernie & All The Lads, Harry Reser & His Eskimos, The Crew Cuts, Dick Haymes & Tuxedo Junction were all known for performming this recording also.

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Here are a couple more related posts from this blog to check out

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