When you stop and think about it sometimes, do the expressions we use really make sense? Some don’t mean what we intend. Others are grammatically incorrect. Some are just plain wrong, yet people continue to use them anyways without thinking. Other expressions are simply annoying. We all have things that annoy or bother us and these just happen to be some of mine. By no means is this a complete list. This is barely just the “tip of the iceberg”, to coin another expression. Sit back and enjoy and see how many of these you can relate to or identify with. I’m sure you could probably add some more of your own.
- Huh –
Answering every question or replying to an inquiry with the moronic sounding … “Huh”. Don’t people realize how primitive this sounds or comes across? Is “What” or “Please repeat” or even “Excuse Me?” too difficult to enunciate?
- I could care less
A very misused expression. I get lots of opportunities to hear as well as read about it’s abuse. The correct expression is “I couldn’t care less.” If you could care less, you still have some feelings on the subject. Get it right or get fish slapped
- You know what –
Beginning just about every sentence with, “You know what”? is annoying as hell. How could I possibly know what without having any clue? Unless I’m a psychic or have ESP.
- I’ll tell you WHAT –
Beginning every conversation with “I’ll tell you WHAT” shows someone that is waaay too ‘into themselves’ as if they are the ‘head honcho’ or they’re farts don’t stink! Enough already!!
- Same difference –
Extremely annoying as well as aggravating!!! You either don’t know what “same” means or you don’t know what “difference” means. Which is it??
- Ya know what I mean?
Very rude to hear this come out of someones mouth repeatedly from sentence to sentence. No, I actually have no idea what you mean because frankly, you can’t clarify what you mean either!!
- Don’t take this the wrong way
This statement is usually followed by something you know is going to be insulting, hurtful or challenging to your self-confidence. Somehow it is supposed make it okay because it was prefaced with ‘Don’t take this the wrong way.’ That’s misleading as well as a big lie!. If you are going to make a mean personal comment, just come right out with it. You aren’t fooling anyone anyway!
- Good things come to those who wait –
Possibly the worst advice you could ever give someone! Usually good things are earned by those who go out and get them.
- If it’s not one thing … it’s another –
No shit, Shirlock! Of course it is! What else could it possibly be?
- From the get go –
I’ve witnessed a few beginnings in my time, and have also seen a couple of things start. Once, I was even present at an onset. But I sure as hell haven’t ever been around at the “get go” of anything, and pray that I never am. Acceptable only if you’re having a stroke and can’t quite get the right words out.
- Between a rock and a hard place –
Is a rock really that difficult to get around? Maybe a huge-ass boulder but certainly not an insignificant rock. And what in God’s name is a “hard place,” anyway? A slab of cement, a pile of wood, a chunk of metal or steel?
- Hot as hell –
You sure about that? Been there lately? Do you speak from experience? Could it just possibly be that you’re exaggerating maybe just a little bit?
- I know what I’m getting YOU for your birthday/Christmas –
Having a close friend, family member, relative or close work associate announce to you “I know what I’m getting YOU for Your Birthday/Christmas” is asinine. Of course they should know what they’re planning to get you because he/she is the one actually GETTING that gift!
- That’s what I’m talkin’ about –
An absolute ridiculous comment to start a conversation with. How in the hell can “That’s what I’m talkin’ about” make any sense – since the conversation hasn’t even started yet, for God’s sakes!!
- Have a nice day
Having a sales clerk or someone you happen to bump into on the street or in a store or parking lot or in your neighborhood tell you to “Have a Nice Day” can be aggravating as well as redundant because you hear it so often on a daily basis. . Suppose you really don’t actually feel like having one of those today. It’s my God-given right to have a crappy day if I so desire!
- Bless you or God bless you
Having someone (especially a stranger on the street, store or on the bus) tell you “Bless You” or “God Bless You” after you sneeze can be thought provoking as well as maddening. Who in the hell gave them the power or authority to bless or anoint someone? I never asked for that to happen!
- I have half a mind to
Someone commenting … “I have half a mind to” .… And my thought is ……” yes you do”!
- My bad
A newer expression that is supposedly a ‘cool’ way of saying ‘my mistake’. It’s even suppose to take the place of an apology – WRONG!! Saying ‘oh, my bad’, in the place of an apology is almost as bad as ‘don’t take this the wrong way’. If you did something unintentional or wrong and you honestly feel bad about it, for God’s sake … APOLOGIZE … or don’t say anything at all!
- You can’t take it with you
That really depends on what it is and where you’re going, doesn’t it? I actually take things with me all the time. Sometimes it’s even essential that I do!
- When there’s a will … there’s a way –
Keep telling yourself that when your SCUBA tank is empty and you’re 200 feet down. Just ‘will’ yourself to suddenly breathe sea water.
- I look forward to it –
This is a major ‘pet peeve’ expression. For one reason, it is very hard to avoid. The other is because it is obvious and useless. How else will you look at something that hasn’t happened yet? You can’t look back on future events, so of course you are going to look forward to it!
- Always in the last place you look
Once again, Captain Obvious, why on earth would you keep looking for something after you found it ? Of course it’s going to be in the last place you look!!
- Charity begins at home –
Actually, obligations begin at home. If you define ‘taking care of your children’ as charity, you should talk to your shrink or go see your doctor and ask him/her about sterilization!
- Better late than never
Doesn’t that really depend upon what it is? I seriously doubt you would even think of saying this to the paramedics if they showed up 4 hours after you called 911. And I bet your boss never says that either. Bosses tend to want things now or a least on time.
- The bigger they are … the harder they fall
If you truly believe this, then you are probably getting your butt kicked on a regular basis!
- Skeletons in your closet –
Who the hell came up with this one? Keeping a secret means that you have dead people in your closet? I guess this is a subtle reference to serial killers which is reason enough to leave it out of your writing. Serial killers get waaay too much attention lately!
- Their bark is worse than their bite –
Isn’t this a cute play on words? While I can see where this one might be coming from, I am sick of hearing it. All too commonly said. Think about this one for a few moments. You wanna tell me which breed you’d like to compare first? A German Shepherd, Poodle, Schnauzer, Pit Bull, St. Bernard, Chihuahua………???
- Better safe than sorry
Not necessarily true all the time. Sometimes the hurt can be worth the risk. Put yourself out there and take a chance – go for it! You’ll learn something new even through the hurt and become a wiser person. Fight this cliché with another, “It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all” ….. but use a condom – No sense in being a fool!
- I will eat my words –
Now this one is downright silly and gets used all the time as well. Your words are already in your mouth, so eating them is no big deal, right? Let’s try more like “I will shut-up now”.
- Gets under my skin –
Creepy. Just plain creepy
- Pass the buck –
Now this one does not even make sense. Supposedly it means to shift responsibility. In real life when you pass responsibility, you most certainly do not get paid extra for taking it on.
- Stick to your guns –
This one hearkens back to the days of the Wild West. I guess if you were John Wayne, it would apply, but nobody carries guns anymore. On second thought, this one actually does still work. Never mind!
- Don’t judge a book by it’s cover
If we didn’t, life would be much more complicated than it already is. Think about this one a moment. We make snap judgments and quick decision based on the superficial everyday. If you went to the library to help your child on a school report on the solar system, you probably wouldn’t get too far on a book that pictured Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs on the front cover now, would you? How else are you going to find the book you need to do the research on?
- Swallowed it… hook, line and sinker –
Again, this does not work. This is referencing fishing. I have yet to ever have a fish take my bait and swallow the hook, line, and sinker. Hook yes. Line and sinker? No.
- Will not have a leg to stand on –
I don’t know about you but I certainly have two of them. This is rather stupid unless I am missing both my legs.
- This is your only choice
Well then, it’s really not a choice now is it, Einstein?. The definition of “choice” is having an alternative. Without one, you have no choice. Why didn’t you just say that in the first place?
- If at first you don’t succeed ….. try, try again
When else can you try again except after you’ve failed? You might as well say, “Let’s try this again for the first time”.
- If you want something done right ….. do it yourself
I might be able to install a deadbolt lock on my front door at home, but if I want a bridge built, over the river outside our front yard driveway, I think I’m better off calling an engineer. Would you really feel secure living down stream from a dam you built?
- No rest for the weary
This one doesn’t even make sense. They wouldn’t be weary if they got some rest now, would they?
- There’s more than one way to skin a cat
What sick pervert thought this was a good phrase to invent. I’m a dog lover myself actually, and don’t care much for cats, but this expression is just sick when you think about it. Who the hell is out there skinning cats? I really don’t need that mental picture during my lunch break now, do I?
- The show must go on
You wouldn’t hear a comment like this if the theater was on fire now, would you? If the cast all came down with swine flu, you wouldn’t want to expose everyone out there in the audience now, would you? Just give everyone a refund and go home.
- Two heads are better than one
Not if one of them is a moron. And those two heads better damn well be mentally functioning too!
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