Humorous Observations of Real Life Experiences


Just when you thought you’ve heard it all, someone comes up with more random thoughts. Here are a few more humorous observations of real life experiences. I’m sure some of these will hit home with you. Enjoy! :)

  • Life is just a phase you’re going through…you’ll get over it.
  • It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
  • For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
  • Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
  • Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
  • A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
  • Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
  • Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
  • Junk is something you throw away three weeks before you need it.
  • There is always one more idiot than you counted on.
  • Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
  • Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a   mechanic.
  • Experience is a wonderful thing… It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
  • By the time you can make ends meet, someone moves the ends.
  • Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
  • Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.
  • I believe the only time the world beats a path to my door is when I’m in the bathroom.
  • Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.
  • I don’t repeat gossip….. so listen carefully.
  • Lord, if I can’t be skinny, let all my friends be fat.
  • Discover Wildlife!  — Have Kids!
  • “Genuine Antique Person” — Been there, done that, can’t remember!
  • By the time you find greener pastures, you can’t climb the fence!
  • Never buy anything you can’t sell at a garage sale
  • I quit jogging for health reasons. My thighs rubbed together so much it caught my underwear on fire!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 105 other followers

%d bloggers like this: